What would a CJ Barbie look like?

There are times when I have to remind myself that grad school is a worthwhile endeavor. I'm getting a master's degree in strategic public relations, which I hope will help me get a job working as a press secretary on the Hill or on a political campaign. There are several things that made me want to become a PR flak, not the least of which was my deep and pure love of Claudia Jean Cregg, fictional White House press secretary and chief of staff under President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet.

I love C.J., but I have a firm grip on reality and I understand that neither she, nor the West Wing, are actually real (though that doesn't stop me from wishing that they were).

I originally wanted to be a journalist, and sometimes I still do, but I started J-School at UMD and found it absolutely miserable. I also realized that the journalism industry is changing and with fewer reporters filling the same amount of space and doing their own editing, the articles were becoming little more than a regurgitation of the press release. I used to think that the information that reached the people was carefully found out and shaped and delivered to the people so they could have a complete understanding of what was going on, and determine what was right and wrong and how they felt about things and the world. I found out that wasn't happening, and more often than not, it was the PR writer or the press secretary making the pres conference statement that made the news story. They were the ones making the message that reached the people, and I wanted to be a part of that.

But in order to do that, I needed to get some kind of background in PR and the university where I was interested in working offered that degree. So I applied, got a job, took a non-degree class, applied for the program, got in, and now I'm in my second semester of my master's degree program, which I could finish as early as next summer. Yet, tonight I sit here with 53 minutes left to submit a response to a lesson in the discussion forum, and I have absolutely no motivation to do it at all.  I'm scanning through a lecture transcript bc I don't have time to take the lazy way out and just sit and listen to the lecture. Every time I contribute something on the discussion board (this summer is online classes, usually they're on campus), I feel like an idiot and I feel like everyone knows I didn't do the reading and I don't know what I'm talking about. But then I get really awesome grades on everything. Which is great, but I don't really feel like I have a good grip on what we're supposed to be learning, and therefore I fear failing each and every assignment bc the last one might have just been dumb luck.

I now have 20 minutes to finish this response, though I have finished reading the lecture. I feel like I'm just rambling both here and in my class, but I'm not sure what to say. The guy made a lot of interesting points, but do I want to be "that girl" in class who starts every sentence with "What I found particularly interesting was...." and everyone rolls their eyes and hopes someone more interesting starts talking. Man, I don't miss discussion sections.

Well, the discussion item is posted and I have to go to work tomorrow, do more classwork, hopefully get my oil changed and then head to the hills of Virginia for some light moving.

On an unrelated note, my hair is really curly right now and it looks awesome. It won't stay this way and it never looks this good when I want to have curly hair at work, so that's sad. Here is an artist's rendering of what it looks like:

...except, you know, shorter. Btw, I think that's a pretty cool looking doll, but I would like to point out that the picture is called "Wiccan Barbie."